Impedimenta

I'm broke now. Anything like going to a night out or eating out and, or watching a movie is going to be suspended. I have to recover from my deep financial turmoil, brought about my too much partee-ing and excessive drugging. It has been two weeks already since the last time I parteed, and I feel nothing really very special with my over all state. I don't know.

But this sudden trip to Laguna has opened a lot of things, many can go crazy, or angry, or even furious, or disgusted, or hurt, or happy. Well, I got drunk and so I got out control. Every word, Voldemort-like, were uttered; most make sense and others alcohol.

So all the craziness went practically causing frantic boisterous intoxicated cachinnation. All the snicker and snigger, titter, chuckle and chortle, ha-ha, haw-haw, hee-haw and all the gagging, the night was filled with so much liberation.

Until a sudden drama sprouted between me and Ashley. And I'd rather not mention it here. Then I resented that I said too much wrong things that emotions just flared up and I cried. I turned into this sobbing kid begging for forgiveness. It was awful.

Until he came into my rescue. I hope this won't cause too many raised eye browse and rejection. I blurted a secret to the person I have a thing for.

"Are you ok? Are you crying?"

"No. I'm not crying. I'm ok."

"I think you cried."

"No. I didn't cry."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"You! You better be careful because I like you."

"What did you just said?"

"I didn't say anything."

"No. You just said something."

"It will only humiliate me."

And, I ran.

I was thinking I might end up messing up with another nice person again. I thought he is delicate and fragile that I have to have it right. That is why I was so careful with my actions and reserved. I was careful with my words and talked less. We held hands, we talked about some close to intimate kind of stuff, we hugged, PDA'd a bit, sung song to each other, hiding meshing hands underneath the sheets, and so who-lied-whose-head-on-whose-shoulder. I don't know really if those has anything to mean to him, but I know, at least, it has to me.

I already anticipated that many might hate me, and other might meddle belligerently but the action was made, yet undone. If this answers someone's problem, then, by whatever motive therein underlies, if the feeling is mutual and strong enough to conquer, then now I'm standing in the brink of the battle field.