Independence

Few weeks ago, I've reunited with a long lost friend of mine. He never changed; he is still this all-metrosexual homosexual like I knew him before. It felt weird when I knew that he is in town. We had a very ugly past, and all left unresolved when he moved for Cebu. I've never really dwelled on bitterness like, I guess, not most of us would do. I dread to just want forget about it; even our friendship was not able to prevent it from happening. And it all happened. He literally ousted me in our rented apartment. One morning, without fair cautionary, another housemate was already lying in my space of the bed. It was literally, belittling, but it did not kill my spirit. So, I moved out. It was like I was a border yesterday, but no longer today.

So that was our past, we were able to settle all those with two buckets of beer and a saucer of peanuts. The moment that he asked for an apology, I didn't feel its necessity anymore. We are good.

Astonishingly, we were both keeping a very dark secret after we parted. We both stumbled in our own lives, probably, the hardest ones. It was his promiscuity and it was my loneliness and my deception to a "happy" lifestyle.

Then suddenly, he said that I need to learn to be independent. The moment I separated from home, that was when I was in high school, I thought that I was already being independent. When I went to college, I had my own rented place. When I had my first job, I stopped asking money from my parents. Then, I travelled away from Davao and found job here in Makati. I am right now very far from my family and seldom see them. I've been here for four years and I had only visited my family twice. However, what I didn't see was, I always live with a friend, with a boyfriend, or with officemates. Did I really become fully independent? I guess not.

Being dependent though, doesn't necessarily mean that you're living with someone else. I asked myself, if my housemates weren't there, would I have survived? And then I started to question my independence.

Happy Independence Day!