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2 months ago, I said that I should remain single for at least 6 months. I said to myself that I should enjoy single life and prepare myself before getting into a new relationship.

2 months, I busied myself meeting up with guys. I spent it consuming alcohol, stoned and hopped up. I created special relationships without sexual intercourse. Platonic. Friendly. And redefined friendship with new unexpected people. It was beautiful. It was careless. It was surreal at times.

After 2 months, I found myself breaking 2 of my rules. One, "Though shall not jump into untested waters." and two, "Though shall not commit in a new relationship within 6 months."

I now officially announce, el final de mis solos días, 1 de Marzo de 2009 (the end of my single days, March 1, 2009). courtesy of babelfish.yahoo.com

1 of 2. "Though shall not commit in a new relationship within 6 months."

Saturday evening, broke, internet shop, mIRC and G4M. I was cruising on World Wide Web Avenue, an ordinary passerby, flashing my stats (24, 5'6, fair, chinito, 120 lbs, toned medium built, versa-bottom) and beaming at every prospect. Hi, send message. Ei, send message. Until I stumbled into him, fair, very healthy black hair, muscular, around my height, top and kinky. "Too good-looking for me." I remarked. Hi here is my password, send message.

It truly amazes me how the universe could conspire and drop a star on you, stardust in my case. I never thought that my charm could enchant his kind of beauty. My hair grew incessantly when he said that he had a crush on me the time he laid his eyes on me, one muzzy evening at Club Government and I was high as kite.

It took us 2 hours full of tomfooleries and sexy innuendos and 2 hours of talking in my room before the 2 hours of kama sutra cardio (my kind of workout).

2 days after, we met again. 1 week later, we decided to weave our lives with a promising love story. Thus, 1 de Marzo de 2009.

2 of 2. "Though shall not jump into untested waters."

2 months, 1 week, 2 days, 2 hours, it all happened so fast. I jumped without my wetsuit neither my goggles. I was bare. I created a splash in the water I have no idea how deep or how cold, how hot or how shallow. I plunged my heart in the unknown water without a single floater.

2 months ago, a lover left because my heart was always partial. It was never completely available not until after 2 months and 25 days that I learned that he had it 2 months and 2 weeks since we dated. I was a fool. Tears flowed over buckets and buckets of beer.

"I will never play again. I missed loving without a tinge of cynicism. I will love him like a 16 year old as soon as he arrives." I carved a promise for myself in the tombstone of my old self.

2 months, I committed to someone. 2 days after, 2 revelations flattered and spun my world numerous 360's. One, he confessed the sad reality about his life in general and number two confession, WE ARE TWO, I AM NUMBER TWO.

Long pause...

2 days ago before we became official, he asked me this question, "Would you settle for the second best?"

I verified, "What do you mean?" His eyes looking at the sparkling fountain water in the twilight, trying to muster all the right words. "Would you settle being a number two?" he restated. Without any hint of suspicions I spoke my mind, "Of course not. Why would I even settle for someone taken? The ocean is full of fishes. I deserve better than that." And our squinting eyes met. "What if you love the person and you are happy?" he pried. Our stares became gluey as caramel. I looked at the fountain scintillating with the lights beneath the water and pouted my lips showing my uncertainty, "Uhm... I think I would. I don't know, maybe I'll cross the bridge when I get there, probably." My tone and my left eyebrow rose, unsure.

2 months, 2 rules broken, 2 days, 2 hours, 2 revelations, 2 weeks later, I am NUMBER 2.

published on http://www.parteeboi.blogspot.com on Friday, March 6, 2009

Posted by parteeboi 01:39 Tagged gay_travel

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Comments

omg... juber, really? do you think you're being fair to yourself? do you really want to be number 2?

just a small nugget of thought to ponder:

"All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for your self, all I plead with you is this: make love of your self perfect. Deny yourself nothing -- glue your self to infinity and eternity and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond".

Nisargadatta Maharaj

by GingerFerrer

Hi Laura, thanks. Apparently, this was 2 months ago. And, yeah we're together for two months now. Do you wanna hear a more stupid decision I made? I agreed to live together with him. Stupid, right? If you could understand this, sometimes you can't do what you think is right because the wrong becomes not right and not wrong at the same time at all. It just null of any reasons. You just want to do it because it's not necessarily what you think is right thing, but it's your body that seemed unstoppable and before you know it you are already in a situation which you think is stupid and you just stayed.

by parteeboi

hay, i already experienced this... and i must say, i was happy and sad at the same time when i was going through this. but no matter how hard i tried to leave, it was a decision i finally made 4 years after we started living together. How stupid, you ask? very stupid. but very much for love. hopeless romantic ka rin pala kasi eh. dont worry. one day, you;ll wake up. :)

by GingerFerrer

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