Jan 2008

Darn! When I was a small kid, I used to draw figures of girls with gowns lavishly and intricately designed. Richly colored in a sheet of newsprint red-and-blue lined elementary paper. My father though, never doubted my paper consumption.

I grew up making paper dolls and making paper dresses. It was not at all a hobby but already a part of my growing up. Until I went to high school, when identity crises could arise and proper behavior of sex roles are expected and making paper dresses is a taboo. So I stopped, but still picturing my female classmates wearing my gowns created only in my playful imagination. Ironically, I never dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. The thought of which, always overpowered that I'd rather be a policeman. My father is with the PNP, and would never agree a gay son, or if not gay, would never agree a straight fashion designer son.

Just when I thought that the passion of mine will be for keeping, my mom one day asked me to design her a dress for a wedding, and asked me to design my younger sister a gown when she turned over her crown as Munting Mutya ng Malalag. All these twists when I was first year high school. Then the community seemed to like my designs, even counselors in the local government were my avid clients. I even designed a set of attires, one time, for a local beauty pageant -- from swim wear, casual, ethnic attire, and long gown-- where all candidates wear the same design. They said to really see who stands out who.

Until came Project Runway Philippines. When I saw the add on tv, something tingled in me. Is this my moment? Is this the pivotal part of my life being the silent genius hand to stardom and fame? I'm a total broke and the screening is already on going until the 16th of this month? How in the world can I come up with my own portfolio? Where am I going to freaking get resources for the three clothes, I personally designed, and time to sew them? What I only have is my resume and my filthy passion for fashion design and beautiful clothes.

I am pretty frustrated of my self. I thought that I lack the passion and the will to seize every inch of opportunity to fulfill my aspirations. It brought me to question, whether I was born for hot dresses, fabrics and palettes, patterns and cuts, glamour and style, fame and riches, and fashion design. But fashion design has never left my imagination and even my straightest day dreaming. My hopes are still high, and the day is still young. I still believe that a milestone is still in the sketching.

I don't say auf wiedersehen, I only say uhr heraus.

What would it be like if I write an articel about callboi? Would it ring a bell to some ears?

For some odd reasons, I got irritated whenI heared, some poeple are actually filthy interested and asking who parteeboi is. I don't know for sure if these people who have nothing to do with thier lives, figured it out already. But for whatever its worth, callboi has written plenty of articles about me, i think it is fair enough if I write one about him.

It was my greatest mistake when I started adding comments on callcentercon. People started speculating. Like what callboi said, this was suppose to be "our thing," we don't know exactly how it fastly proliferated beyond the operations floor. I guess, I really can't blame my friend callboi for being such an ingenious writer.

What about a Palanca nomination? What about a reading by February? Whatabout an e-mail from another call center agent/sup? One day, out of callboi's, I guess boredom, found travellerspoint, and started blogging, and stormed PeopleSupport. Callcentercon is indeed a hit.

Then, one day callboi wants me to start my own. I didn't fail him and crashingconfessions was born. I was crashing when I made it, if not because of an odd mail from friendster, I won't have started crashingconfessions. That e-mail, which is my first entry is about, touched me.

Anyway, what I would just really like to say is that, callboi is in the hospital right now. I don't know exactly if he is enjoying his stay there. But, if I were in his position, I would be so happy. I know being admitted in Makati Medical Center is the best all-expense paid vacation a PeopleSupport employee could immediately have, well compared to CSAT incentive all-expense paid vacation. But, I am not callboi, he told me he really really wanna go home, so he could eat whatever he wants.

Guys, please let us pray for callboi. I know a lot of you miss callboi a lot. His blogs, his laugh, his figure. So, let us pray callboi a good health and peace of mind. I know you need them callboi.

Kulang na ba talaga ako sa pansin? O, gawa nalang ng sobrang kabagotan sa trabaho?

Linggo ng gabi, well Monday morning, Sunday night production, so what do you expect? Although, I feel extraordinarily lazy to take that one remaining call in the queue, after a 45-minute call. I may have just gotten super bored or was I just thirsty for attention, thinking that people might rate me Hot or Baby-faced over this silly carimuka.com. I was so disappointed of myself after I uploaded my own photo, and mind you added it in my favorites. Shame on me!

PAUNAWA: Hindi po ako ang nasa litrato. (I'm not the one in the picture.)

What's more funny, I did not realize the big humiliation I just made until I think rated more than 10 scary or funny or rebel or other, sorry, but I'll say pathetic, well kinda (everyone is entitled of their own opinion, right? so, forgive me. anyways, I am one of you already.) shots. Sad face, for being arrogant!

But, just in case I could bring you into it too, check this out!

http://www.carimuka.com

Did you upload yours too?

These are some of the words, which you might have found confusing in my blogs. So, let me educate you a little and enjoy!

atashi, akez, akizm (pronoun) - equivalent to tagalog word, ako or akin.
ex. Maganda ba atashi?
normi: Maganda ba ako?

balur (noun) - it means, house.
ex. Nandito lang akez sa balur kez.
normi: Nandito lang ako sa bahay ko.

bengga, vengga (adjective) - equivalent to tagalog expression, bongga.
ex. Mataas ka ba? Vengga!
former: Mataas ka ba? Bongga!

bilat, bilatsi (adjective) - it means, female.
ex. Bilat ba ang friend mo, parang beki?
normi: Babae ba ang friend mo, parang bakla?

er or ers (interjection) - used as a filler.
ex. Baket panget ka ers?
normi: Baket panget ka?

ketay (noun) - it means, cell phone.
ex. Ketay mey?
normi: Cell phone mo?

mareng (pronoun) - a chavacano term for male homosexual.
ex. Mareng! Mareng!

• only a few knows why this is the example.

mey (pronoun) - equivalent to tagalog word, mo.
ex. Balur mey?
normi: Bahay mo?

shobley, torvs, torva (noun) - it means, pill or tablet; ecsatcy.
ex. Anong available na shobley ers?
normi: Anong available na tab?

wiz, wizel, wit (adjective) - it means, no, nothing or never.
ex. Bakla ka ba? Wiz!
normi: Bakla ka ba? No!

-ness (suffix) - used as suffix to a word, to achieve a gay sound.
ex. Kalokaness
normi: Kaloka

-y or -ey (suffeix) - used as suffix, sometimes replacing the last letter or last two letters of a word, to achieve a gay sound.
ex. Aney?
normi: Ano

-ng (suffix) - same as above, sometimes preceded with a vowel when suffixed with a word.
ex. Getsing? or Getsong?
normi: Gets?

Ano ney? Getsong ers? Wizel na commentness, akizm akizm lang itey ers.

Share ko lang...

Alam niyo bang last night, wala kameng kapera-pera ng asawa ko? As in P30.00 na lang. Syempre, mej napraning atashi. Nagising ako, alas onse ng gabi at gutom. Wala na kaming potable water, may rice na tira from agahan, at tulog na tulog si Mareng (pseudonym ng asawa atashi). Naghintay pa ako ng ilang oras sakaling magising ang asawa kez, pero wiz, wizel siya nagising.

Chi-neck ko ang wallet kez at wallet niya, at P30.00 lang talaga ang pera namen. Sabi niya, may P500.00 daw kaming makukuha that night from his friend. But wizel reply and bilatsi niyang friend.

So I said, I need to be resourceful myself. Naguguluhan ako kung water ba ang ibibili ko sa okani or ulam? Hmm... hanggang sa tinodo ko na ang pagtitipidness, hinalukay ko ang aming maliit na food keeper and I found 2 zham-pongs. Then I recalled, sa probinsya inuulam ko ang noodles, so I said gagawin kong ulam ang zham-pong. So, nagpakulo ako ng water using our Black and Decker rice cooker, at dinamihan ko na para mainon namin. Solve.

I decided to text some friends, I texted a few but only one replied. Wala din daw siyang pera. The others, didn't at all care to reply. So, I texted my mom, I said babayaran ko ng 5 folds at sa awa ng Diyos pinadalhan niya ako ng pera through LBC. And I got the money in the morning.

Yong asawa ko sosyal, bumili siya ng coke out of the P30.00 kasi daw walang tubig, dalawang tuyo at isang tinapa (smoked fish) for our breakfast. At ang kanin, yong tira from yesterday's breakfast pa din. Bengga di ba?

The best part? I didn't panic at all. Knowing the friends, at least the friends I know are my friends, I feel secured, and seeing my baby with me, I feel even more secured. A big difference from being strangled in your addict world than living in the normi world. And, indeed, a big difference LOVE can do.

Na naman! Nakakapagsulat ako kasi nalulungkot ako.
Nalulungkot ako para sa isang kaibigan. Sobrang laki kasi ng nagbago sa amin simula nang natuto kaming magdroga. Physically, socially and even the way we think and people think about us.

We have our issues but I can say now, they are all dealt with and are all history.

But just recently, a very surprising story came into my attention. I can't believe that he'll steal under any circumstances. I dont want to believe it, but what concerns me most is the rumor that will creep around.

Like what I learned, somebody accused that I stole his 2 tabs of ecstacy from his pocket. So, unbelievable! And, my friends kept it from me. All the while, I am a thief in their eyes.

I wish you more hairs this year.