A Travellerspoint blog

And Yet Another Broken Heart

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These stupid eye balls and good looking gay guys. Liars. Duplicitous. They will give you false pretenses that they like you. All of the sudden they become MIA, intangible as fart. They become part of a thick memory in the “asshole” compartment.

But my heart will not be silenced and I am not to become lovelorned.

I am young and I am pretty sure that my days are still endless like the ocean. I know that one of those sometimes calm and sometimes rough days, like how the ocean survives a storm and goes with its low and high tides, that at the end of every storm and passersby crossing on its surface, someone will dive into my deep and I can remain calm in his arms.

posted on http://www.parteeboi.blogspot.com on Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Posted by parteeboi 16:29 Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

Prank Me Jealousy

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A bleep ended his slumber. He reaches for his phone, leaving a slope in his pillow and supports his body with his right elbow. Hazy, his vision adjusting to the light and reads a message from his boyfirend.

"Mi, papartee ata kami later with Layla and Kim. Si Kim may kasama daw na cute guy."

He slumps his head back to his pillow and sighs. He frowns. His thoughts start revving from dormancy. He doesn't trust his gut, looking for a better reaction than irked. Finally, he says, busies his fingers, dials an infinite phone number which reads,

"OK. U behave Di, you know may asawa ka na. :-)"

He rested his phone on his chest, raising simultaneousy with his breathing. Too toot. Raises his phone, a silhoutte of himself mirrors in the screen, presses the asterisk and the OK buttons and the screen glows with a whitish light. The message says,

"Mi, chinito pa yong fren ni Kim. :-). Di ka selos?"

His reply reeking with jealousy and anger, knowing how his boyfriend fancies chinese-looking guys.

"Should I?"

Waiting for some comfort, he did not get anything but, "Hmpf!"

Him: Well, yeah, I am a lil bit jelous. But I should trust you ryt? Can I trust you with this?

Boyfriend: Oo naman. Pero ano talaga nararamdaman mo? Tell me.

Him: Nanginginig na ako sa galit.

Boyfriend: Huh? Mi, wag ka na selos please. :-(

Him: OK. I trust you, have fun! :-)

Boyfriend: Ewan ko sayo, di ka na nagseselos. Di mo ako love. Tampo na Dadi.

Him: OK. If you wanna have fun and partee, I'm letting you. If you want me to get jealous, well I am jealous. In fact, I am just consciously convincing myself that I shouldn't because you love me. What else do you wanna hear?

Boyfriend: :-(

Now, he is totally confused.

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He is fumbling with his reasons. He can't draw any logic to untangle the knots of obfuscation. His head has hollowed again, all he hears is the whistling breeze of a wasteland.

He is trying to justify if he is entitled of his jealosuy. Yes. He is feeling jealous, but it is a kind of jealousy that trust can resolve. He feels that he owes it to his boyfriend, to put trust before jealousy.

So he did.

But it seems like it isn't what his boyfriend needs from him. His boyfriend wants him to be jealous. And so he gives in.

Now he hates himself. He loathes the idea that he had to bottle up his feelings so it appears pleasant to his boyfriend's tasting. He abhors his cowardice to lose an asshole-in-the-making boyfriend. He is turning to be placatory, when he used to think he is a princess. Like a candle lighting a match.

posted on http://www.parteeboi.blogspot.com on Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Posted by parteeboi 08:34 Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

Acne Epiphany

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I woke up today with three shiny and huge zits on my face. I just stood up in front my mirror looking sternly at the three zits with so much fury and concern. They seemed to look like a certain constellation called "Shame." Then I caught myself teary-eyed, with no exaggeration. A pang of so much panic struck me. I've started thinking of buying a tube of Panoxyl, or a tube St. Ives Blemish Control Apricot Scrub. I thought my Clean and Clear Active Clear no longer does the trick. Simultaneously, I thought of a Pimple Treatment Facial at Let's Face It, or a P100.00 pimple shot at Forever Flawless, or see a dermatologist and spend a lot of money despite my financial plight. I was so scared.

I took my regular Landmark jeepney going to work. By the vehicle's entrance I noticed this very fair and cute guy who sat near the entranceway and thought of sitting next to him so the wind won't ruin my do. He was facing towards the front and faced towards the rear as I entered his vision. He seemed to be avoiding the sight of me.

I felt so bad about myself and I can see my self-esteem rolling on the floor. I want to pick it up but I'd rather stay motionless and feeling too conscious of getting more attention.

I rested my eyes on this yellow sticker. It says, "Jojo Binay the next president." For a second, I fleetly forgot my pimples, I was baffled with what I have just read and I was busy with my thoughts.

The idea was readily repulsing. I haven't imagined Binay ruling the country, but happy that Binay is Mayor of Makati. I never imagined anyone sitting in his seat. I thought Binay is the only Mayor Makati should ever have. The yellow sticker didn't seem to be strange at all, it is slowly making sense and finally replaced GMA with my idea of a president (of the Philippines, Obama is my ultimate idea of a president). It is not a bad idea after all. That sticker which reminds me of Cory Aquino was sold on me.

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To me, my pimples represent poverty, corruption, flanking literacy, famine, unemployment, you name it. In a country full of uncertainty and skepticism, one should decide a remedy. If I will buy my self a tube of Jojo Binay to heal my pimples, I am hoping, and I am sure many are hoping too, that my pimples will disappear and will give back my face its deserved beauty to face the world with such pride and glory.

"Only Belo touches my skin. Who are you?" Rhona Parker, Gay and Friend

posted on http://www.parteeboi.blogspot.com on Thursday, February 19, 2009

Posted by parteeboi 02:08 Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

Mas pinatibay. Mas pinalakas.

Ang aking bagong tahanan.

all seasons in one day

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http://www.parteeboi.blogspot.com

Posted by parteeboi 22:44 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

Counting Blessings

Let's be happy.

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My 2008 wasn't good at all; neither had I started my 2009 right. But I am going to have a good year. It is just a matter of perspective. I have dwelt so much on my misfortunes, but I wanted to make a change this year. Why don't I make a list of all my blessings?

I am excited.

1. I went home. After two years, I saw my family again-- my mom, my dad, my sister, my grandparents, cousins and my old friends. At first it was awkward, I don't know, I have become into a different person, I felt like I am so different from them. But as I spend my last days with them, I was back to my old self. It was refreshing. Few worries, all laughs and everything seems so carefree. I miss my family so much.

2. My salary loan will be fully paid this month.

3. I am single again and I'm back to the market. Now I just need to polish the goods. It means more boys. Ahehehe.

4. I have a job and I am no longer an agent. I am now a trainer.

5. My ipod just got updated. Look at my cover flow now, they're all so pretty.

6. Another year and another chance to get better.

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Posted by parteeboi 21:18 Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

Pag-ibig: Bwisit

Don't tell me I didn't warn you! (Talking to myself.)

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Hay naku. Bakit sobrang apektado ako sa lahat ng ginagawa ni Guy 1. Hindi naman ako ganito dati e. Kahit ano, go lang. Kung ayaw niya, sige… Kung gusto niya ng ganito… sige… Kung ayaw ko, ayaw ko, wala akong pakialam. Siya, lahat may ibig sabihin. Ngayon kaya, anong may ibig sabihin para sa kanya sa mga ginagawa ko? Hindi ko na mafigure out. Oo, sabi niya mahal niya ako. Huwag daw akong mag-alala. Ok. Pero hindi e, araw-araw nalang akong ganito. Parang sira, praning, sobrang praning. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I shouldn’t care much. Kung anong meron go lang, and explore. Marami nama diyang ready na magbigay sa akin ng atensyon. Pero I can’t fucking help it. Gusto ko siya, siya, siya. Siya nalang parati kong iniisip. Unfair, unfair talaga. Iniisip niya ba ako ng madalas? Naiintindihan niya ba kung gaano kahirap ‘tong nararamdaman ko? Or, does he even know na nahihirapan ako?

Napaka-insecure ko. I should be secure about myself. It is one thing I am looking for a partner. Yong tipong, kahit anong sitwasyon, he knows that I am just around, and I will not wander around. Bakit di ko na kayang gawin yon? Well, siguro kaya ko naman, kaya lang bakit nahihirapan na akong magcare less? Why the hell I care a fucking lot?

Bwisit. Lintik talaga yang pag-ibig na yan. Bwisit. Bakit di nalang ako gawing masaya? Ang daming beses ko nang nasaktan. P ng I di mo na ba ako tatantanan? Ano pa bang kailangan kong matutunan? Pakshet lang talaga. Bwisit.

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Posted by parteeboi 17:15 Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

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